How to spot a dating scam: romance and investment scam warning signs

Romance scams are one of the most common online frauds in Asia. Scammers are patient, friendly and very convincing, and they target people of every age and background. The good news is that almost every scam follows the same script, and once you know it, it’s easy to spot.

The one rule that stops almost every scam

Never send money, gifts, cryptocurrency or bank details to someone you met online and haven’t met in person. Not for an emergency, not for a ticket to visit you, and not for an investment, however good the story sounds. A genuine match will never need your money.

Warning signs

• They move very fast. Big compliments, talk of love or marriage within days, and constant messages from morning to night.
• They want to leave the app quickly. Scammers push you to WhatsApp, Telegram or LINE early, where reports and moderation can’t reach them.
• They avoid video calls. The camera is always “broken”, the connection is bad, or they’re too busy. Photos look like a model’s or a magazine’s.
• Their story has gaps. Details about their job, family or location change, or they work somewhere hard to check, like an oil rig, a ship, the army or overseas.
• Money comes up. Sometimes on day two, sometimes after months. It often starts small, as a test.

The stories scammers tell

The investment tip. Your match is successful and generous, and offers to show you how they make money trading crypto, gold or foreign currency. The app or website shows big profits, but you can never withdraw them without paying “fees” or “taxes”. This is often called a pig-butchering scam, and it can drain life savings.

The emergency. A sudden accident, hospital bill, sick parent or a problem with the police, and they need money today.

The visit. They want to come and see you but need help with a plane ticket, a visa or a fee at the airport.

The parcel. They’ve sent you a gift, and now a “customs officer” or courier asks you to pay to release it.

Sextortion. A flirtatious chat moves to intimate photos or video, and then they threaten to share them unless you pay. Don’t pay: payment rarely ends the demands. Stop replying, keep the evidence, and report it.

The fake link. A “verification” or “security” link that asks for your login, card details or a payment. ThaiLovely only verifies your identity inside the app, and we never ask you to pay a member or a third party.

How ThaiLovely helps

• Every member who sends messages has passed an age and identity check with an ID document and a live selfie, which makes fake accounts much harder to create.
• New photos, videos and profile text are checked automatically, and suspicious content can be held for a moderator.
• Asking for money breaks our Community Guidelines. Scams lead to an immediate permanent ban, and a ban applies to the person, not just the account.

No check is perfect, so your own caution is still the best protection.

What to do if you’re targeted

1. Stop sending money and stop replying.
2. Keep the evidence: screenshots of the profile and messages, and any payment details.
3. Report and block the person in ThaiLovely so we can act on the account and protect others.
4. Call your bank straight away if you have paid. The sooner you act, the better the chance of stopping a transfer.
5. Report it to the police. In Thailand, the anti online scam hotline is 1441. Elsewhere, contact your local police.

Being scammed is nothing to be ashamed of. Scammers are professionals who do this every day. Telling someone you trust is the first step to stopping it.

For more on staying safe when you do meet, read our first date safety tips.